- When do I start talking to my children about alcohol and other drugs?
- How should I talk to my children about alcohol and other drugs?
- Anything else?
- Why do some kids experiment with alcohol and other drugs?
- What are the effects of alcohol or other drugs?
- How can I tell if my child is in trouble?
- What should I do if I am concerned?
1) When do I start talking to my children about alcohol and other drugs?
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2) How should I talk to my children about alcohol and other drugs?
Take advantage of "Teachable moments" (when the topic just "comes up") Some examples of teachable moments are: watching a movie together where alcohol or other drugs are shown, when you are hosting a party where alcohol will be served, or when your child asks a question about the topic. It can be helpful to invite your child to discuss the topic by asking them " what do you think about..."
Focus on the facts: Give your children factual, age appropriate information about alcohol and other drugs. Alcohol, tobacco and medicines are most likely to be present in a younger child's world while other drugs like marijuana become present a little later.
Be ready to listen to and address their questions:
It's okay not to have the answers. Tell your child that you will help them find the answer to their questions. The AFM Library is a good place to find more information about this subject.
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Never forget the value of helping your children build their self esteem. You can do this by doing activities with your child and as a family as well as showing unconditional love.
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4) Why do some kids experiment with alcohol and other drugs?
- To feel more "mature"/ adult like
- To fit in / feel accepted
- To rebel
- To have fun
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5) What are the effects of alcohol or other drugs?
Stimulants such as caffeine, nicotine and cocaine tend to speed up these functions.
Depressants such as alcohol, inhalants, tranquilizers and sleeping pills tend to slow down things down.
Hallucinogens such as LSD and marijuana (to some degree) change the way a person experiences things. They may affect the sense of touch, taste, smell, hearing or one's sense of time, speed, and distance.
Our drug information sheets contain more details on specific drugs.
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6) How can I tell if my child is in trouble?
Changes at school: marks, attendance, attitude towards school, behavior problems at 
school.
Emotional Changes: mood swings, increased defiance, anxiety, paranoia.
Social Changes: changes in peer group, less interest in previously enjoyed activities, sudden popularity, loss of friends, secretive about friends /activities.
Legal Problems: alcohol or drug related charges, theft, assault or other illegal behavior when under the influence.
Physical Changes: weight loss, tired/run down, unusual amounts of energy, appetite changes, frequent illnesses, increase in accidents, memory problems, less concern about appearance, change in sleeping patterns.
Changes in Family Relationships: withdrawing from family, no longer following rules at home, isolating self, increased tension at home.
Financial Changes: more spending money, money is spent with nothing to show for it, possessions are missing, frequent job changes.
Keep in mind that several of these changes may be due to things other than alcohol, drugs or gambling. Several signs are often more reliable than a single sign. If you are noticing these changes it is important to talk to your child about your concerns.
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7) What should I do if I am concerned?
Express Concern:
Use "I Messages":
"I messages" focus on what you are seeing and how you feel about it. They can reduce defensiveness and keep the lines of communication open.
"I messages" look something like this: "I feel worried when you stay out all night without calling because I am afraid that something terrible may have happened to you."
Really Listen:
Real communication goes two ways. You can learn a lot from your teen if you take the time to really listen to what they say.
Remain Calm and Caring:
This is easy to say but hard to do especially when we are feeling upset. Sometimes when anger or fear take over we may say or do things that we do not mean. Some of these things can damage the relationship that we have with our teens.
Request that your child go for counselling:
Parents often struggle with how to ask their teens to go for counseling. You may want to simply express your concerns and ask that your teen go and talk to a counsellor. Your teen will likely respond better if you encourage them to go to a counsellor to "check out" their use/gambling and get some information rather than asking them to go and get help for their "addiction problem".
Get Support for yourself and your family:
When a family member is in trouble with alcohol, drugs or gambling it is common for all family members to be affected. You may notice that relationships in your family are tense. It is important that family members talk with each other about how they are feeling. Even if your teen does not get help there are supports available for other family members such as our Parents Intervention Program and counselling for affected youth.
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